It's simple folks. Silence speaks a thousand words here.
I shake my head when I see calls for apologies and for the GOP leadership to condemn the violent rhetoric that has been woven into our country over the past several years.
YEARS. As in YEARS.
Remember the campaign? Remember that white-haired lady in the red shirt who stood up at the John McCain rally and called Obama an Arab? I remember feeling relieved when McCain finally opened his mouth and stood against the hatred, lies and dangerous thinking.
But really, that's the only time I can recall someone in the GOP doing that. And where's McCain been since then?
So how long are you going to give them? This has been burning for years folks, and I'm wondering, how long are you going to give them?
By "them" I mean anyone who had the power to stand up and call for this to stop. I am looking over at you GOP, because I think I've heard people over on this side of the room speaking out against it for a while now.
So let's say that today, we have a parade of GOP leaders standing in line at a podium, ready to condemn what's occurred before their very eyes FOR YEARS. They come by, again and again and say they don't support crosshairs combined with 'reload' rhetoric and M16 fundraisers to take opponents out of office and that Second Amendment remedies just won't solve the country's problems.
Okay. Now what?
Now what happens? This goes away? The bell gets unrung? The people who heard the dog whistles unhear them? The toothpaste goes back in the tube?
So say that Sarah Palin is in that line and she apologizes for the crosshairs and the dead people and the injured people and her whole 'reload' nonsense. That if she has any responsibility in this whatsoever, she is sorry.
Okay. Now what?
Haven't you guys ever seen an instance with kids where after a kid beats the crap out of another kid a parent forces the kid to say "Sorry" and then that's the end of it?
Do you guys really think the kid who is forced to apologize does so because he's really sorry? Or is it because he got caught?
And really folks, isn't that "Sorry" a nice way for the bully to get out of trouble after beating the crap out of the other kid?
How nice.
So think of the kid who got the beating. How does he feel? Does he really believe the bully is sorry? So he gets the crap beaten out of him and the only consequence to the bully is one word? SORRY? And I'll bet the bully put a little emphasis on the "sorry" to show the target that he's pissed.
You know the dynamic. Right?
Then the parents go to back to their chatter.
Out in the backyard, the bully beats the crap out of the kid again for being a 'tattletale' and getting him in trouble. Why shouldn't he? All he has to do is say "sorry" after the damage is done.
What's the moral of this story?
Making nothing of this makes nothing of the kid who got the crap beaten out of him.
Sure the bully is sorry, but only for himself for having to say sorry.
I was reading the Dog's rec list diary Does Anyone Else See a Pattern? where Dog pondered whether or not the GOP was feeling bad, or if they were feeling sorry. I left a short comment:
Dog, they have feelings, very tender feelings but only for themselves. And the ones who stay silent show they agree.
When you see someone being beaten and don't call 911, the victim logically can see that as you agreeing with the assault.
When a kid is bullied on the playground and no one intervenes, he learns the lesson that everyone else agrees with the bully and that he deserves what he gets.
Again, we see the moral of the story here:
Making nothing of this makes nothing of the target.
One of my interests is the dynamics of bullying. I've written diaries about it here. What experts now see is that the intervention of bystanders in a bullying situation are KEY to stopping the bullying. One of my favorite experts, Stan Davis, wrote an entire book on how to empower bystanders. Here is a little of what he says on the subject:
At the second stage, targets often see bystanders, who they thought cared about them, doing nothing to stop the bullying. When most peers and teachers do not defend the targets from bullying, targets begin to feel that those peers and teachers agree with the bully and support the harassment. A student in Ohio said, "When people watch you being bullied and do nothing, that makes you believe you deserve it." A student in Maine said, "When people bully you and no one helps, it's like you don't count." A student in San Diego said, "First they bully you and then you bully yourself." Young people often tell me that "everyone" picks on them when the active bullying only comes from a few peers.
Before becoming a middle school guidance counselor, Davis worked for human rights, and in the 1960s was very active in the Civil Rights movement. He quotes often from leaders who call on those of us who are a witness to injustice to speak out against it.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King Jr.
Isn't that true? Doesn't it hurt more when someone who you thought you could count on doesn't stand up for you? Doesn't speak up? Doesn't it shake you when you believed you could trust someone and you discover you've misread them completely? A bully is a bully, we can see that. But when a reasonable person stays silent, it cuts us to the core.
Folks, haven't these "reasonable" GOP leaders stayed silent FOR YEARS? People are dead and still, really, where are they? Where is Palin? She's promoting her reality tv show where she pans for gold. She wants peace and justice - but never says for whom. Her condolence message, imho, was a slap in the face for the victims here.
We see things right before our eyes folks. A forced apology won't work for me, because I don't believe it. A forced statement condemning this won't work for me because I don't believe it. It's staging. It's the bully standing there saying 'sorry' to get out of trouble.
If he was truly sorry, he wouldn't have done the deed in the first place. If he was truly sorry, his apology would be designed to relieve the suffering he caused. He would accept consequences. He would be humble and different. Even in the remote chance that he never meant to hurt someone, he would be contrite and extend the boundaries to include the possibility that he could have brought violence onto someone, and he would show great remorse and sorrow.
He would work every day to make amends.
A real apology requires humility. A real apology doesn't come after the offense is discovered.
Keep your heads people. See this for what it is. If the GOP hasn't condemned this stuff by now, it supports it.
At least that's the way I see it. Its silence speaks volumes, and I'm not buying any forced apologies from anyone.
This wasn't a mistake. This wasn't something that happened in the heat of the moment. We've had this in front of us every day for YEARS and through the silence, it's gotten worse. It's been stoked. It's been fueled. Mentally unstable people like the white-haired woman in the red shirt have been exploited to perform the dirty work that so many advocate.
What I've witnessed is an assault on every single person in this country, who now lives in terror of the bullies and the silent bystanders. Making nothing of that, makes nothing of us.
The bully might behave for a while since he got caught, but he's learned that because the consequences are a joke, he can be more brazen next time.
And really, why am I worrying about accepting a fake apology when no one has even offered even that?
Oppression can only survive through silence. Carmen de Monteflores
The most profound statements are often said in silence. Lynn Johnston (1947 - ), For Better or For Worse, 01-15-04
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)
The cruelest lies are often told in silence. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)